December 31, 2011

the end of another year

i finally get used to signing the date in 2011, now i have to get used to 2012. that's how it seems though, but in reality i really do think my life has changed (as it does every year, dur). after seeing victoria's lovely and eloquent end of year review, i thought: yo why not write one yourself, just to assure yourself that you haven't wasted your life on the internet. so, here i am.

i find the best way to review is going through my photos, day by day. i don't remember many emotional revelations....mostly just interesting events! (for i have a memory of a fish. i'm not much a writer nor will i ever be...but i now see the benefits of constant text blobbing. that way i can see my past thoughts....but i don't like writing down my deep dark thoughts on the internet, it makes me paranoid.)

no, i haven't fallen in love or anything (that's not counting the various british male actors i have an affinity for...currently i wish to marry colin morgan and matt smith and tom felton. POLYGAMY!)

i don't really know how much i changed in regards to last year, but things i am definitely sure of are that

1) i now have some sort of sense of fashion. i do believe personal fashion sense comes with maturity. when you finally break away from the middle school stage of abercrombie and hollister and aeropostale and the freshman-junior slump of IDK WHAT 2 WEAR DAMMIT. i wish to one day have a pretty flowly style full of lots of sheer clothing. i mean what. o-0 current obsession: head scarves and forever 21.

2) i now give less of a fuck about everything. in a good way. it's senior year, i won't see some of you phockers ever again so i really don't care what you think of me. in general, i'm much less conscious about the way i act, my body, and whether or not people will like me.

3) in a way....i have sort of chose the friends i want to keep for life and the ones i know i'll forget after high school. i'd rather have a few best friends/sisters than a ton of whatever friends. there are obviously still people i love and will definitely keep in touch with (and i'm so glad i met them)....but i only hold a very few next to my heart. they mean to world to me and i don't know where i would be without them. i'd probably be an anti-social hermit with depression problems, actually.

4) overexposure to tumblr has led me to love making graphics and fall in love with various tv shows. most importantly, doctor who - which is honestly my favorite show and it means so much to me. i've also fallen in love with misfits, sherlock, merlin, that 70's show, the big bang theory, community, and modern family as well. tumblr is part of my new grown confidence/apathy i think?

5) i can drive. IMMA BIG GIRL! and i'm eighteen now damn. that, and i now like olives and orange juice.

i say this every year, but i honestly do think i matured a lot. (in the good way, i'm still in touch with my maniacal child-like imagination and sense of fun). so anyway, here is the photo dump! i'm sure i forgot a lot...alas.

Photobucket 
i remember being afraid to pursue art as a career....but i now realize that i'm not. i won't be happy doing anything else but photography for the rest of my life. and this is what i will do.
Photobucket Photobucket 
i began a rabid obsession with nail polish. not much for vanity reasons, but because i love colors. when i see colors, i feel happy.
Photobucket 
i took this lovely photo :D
Photobucket 
i cut off all my hair. i remember hating it the first few days and getting incredibly frustrated with it. but i'm glad i did, it was like symbolic shit in a certain way. i didn't rely on my hair/need it. bitch, i'm fabulous.
Photobucket 
i had junior dinner, my first formal formal dance.
Photobucket Photobucket 
the tumblr show = some of the awesomest bitches ever. not pictured: sky, michelle, becca, & abir.
Photobucket 
i actually had a sleepover with victoria.
Photobucket Photobucket 
<3
Photobucket 
wandered around central park with claudia, victoria, and papa lin. i kind of realized that hey, i wouldn't mind living my life here.
Photobucket 
we built a bitchin' set of bamboo windpipes for physics.
Photobucket Photobucket 
tyler and victoria both graduated and went to prom.

i didn't get the nsli-y scholarship. i chose china, and in retrospect i really wish i went with india instead. not getting in honesty broke my heart and i was pretty sure my life was over. however, it's comforting to know that things happen for a reason, and that there will be more adventures in store for me. i was so happy victoria got in, i knew she wanted it just as much as i did and she definitely deserved it!

Photobucket Photobucket
i went on my first vacation without my parents! claudia and her awesome family were kind enough to invite me on a their annual trip to myrtle beach. it was an amazing vacation, i loved it.
PhotobucketPhotobucket
there are very few people that i can sit in a secret pool with and just talk about everything - or not talk at all.
Photobucket Photobucket 
tiki statues. i've gotten over the fact that people stare, i actually kind of like it.
Photobucket
and then i took one of my favorite photos.

the day after i got home from myrtle beach, i left my home for a month in taiwan. now in retrospect, i realized i'm very happy i went there. i realized that visiting relatives does not lead to exciting vacations and it might not be an adventure, but it's still worthwhile. i ate a lot of food, too. 

Photobucket
i'm an aunt. and that horrifies me.
Photobucket
my  grandmother.Photobucket 
i saw deathly hallows in a theater in hua-lien. it was incredibly sad and somewhat traumatizing, to see my childhood end right in front of my eyes.
Photobucket
we went to buluoguan to see the amazing mountains.
Photobucket
and then, my camera broke. it was a mix between my motion illness from the boat/car rides/plane rides and lack of rest that led me to give my camera to my sister. um, mistake. we went to peng hu, an island off the coast of taiwan. it was so beautiful and so amazing. my mother wanted to take me there so i could take photos. oh wait, but my camera broke. the irony killed me. i used my mother's old point and shoot to snap some shots of all the beauty.
 Photobucket
we spent the entire trip riding on motorcycles around the island. my mother had the camera and it was running out of battery, but i remember riding towards the sun on an ivory stone road and seeing the golden countryside on one side and the sunset ocean on the other. the photo below was taken on the same road but in the morning. the magic was gone, but the beauty and sublime was still there.
Photobucket  
Photobucket 
i then stayed with my dad's family. i remember feeling....really really sad. i live my life surrounded by youth and hope and to go to taiwan and see my aging grandparents and my uncle caring my ill yei-yei just made me depressed. sometimes i do with people could live forever.
Photobucket 
i went to sun moon lake with my cousin, my other cousin, her husband, and my sister. we had a phenomenal time and it was amazing to see such beautiful sights.
Photobucket 
we then went back to taoyuan with my aunt (mom's sister). this is where i feel most at home, with my mom and my aunt and my sister. i have an awesome family. 

sorry, this end of year analysis is turning into a taiwan summary. i suppose it's because i never really blogged about it? i travelled all around the country during the one month i was there. it was crazy.
Photobucket
this is taipei from the sky.
PhotobucketPhotobucket Photobucket Photobucket 
i came back home, and i needed it. i needed to see my green backyard and my dog and my dad and smell the lovely air of america.

it's weird, because i love travel and i don't think i would have been homesick if i was in a different country other than taiwan. i mean, if you took me to a month in greece i'd bet you i wouldn't want to come back. if i went to tajikistan like victoria, i probably would not want to come back. i guess it was college stress that drove me to miss my home more than usual.

i took this photo of catalina which i loved. victoria found the angle.
Photobucket
my baby got repaired and we were reunited.

commence field hockey, starting from august 15th.
Photobucket
my hair grew longer and i got very tan and started senior year.
Photobucket
i visited victoria in hamilton and realized that i could see myself living at a school like that.
Photobucket 
Photobucket
i meant to make a field hockey post...but i'm waiting for my friend to upload her dad's photos from the dinner. it was an amazing season and don't regret not doing marching band at all. i love field hockey with all my heart and my team mates and my coach and just everything.
Photobucket 
Photobucket Photobucket
Photobucket 
i started a lot more client shoots this year, which is always fun.
Photobucket 
my last football game. its times like these i realize that i'm really going to miss high school.
Photobucket
had and amazing homecoming with amazing people.
Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket 
i visited carnegie mellon in november. although i did not love the campus, i truly loved the people. and i realized, i really don't like hanging out with groups of girls. i hung out with 12 boys and a new friend i made, maddie. two girl and a crowd of boys, not sketchy at all. we hung around campus on our own and just talked. it was amazing meeting so many cool people and nerds. i love it.

i also visited NYU earlier that month and fell in love with the campus. i didn't get to sleep over like i did at carnegie mellon, but i still loved the entire experience. 
Photobucket 
end of year field hockey banquet. these are my two nerds and i grew up with during field hockey. asians, represent.
Photobucket 
i won something for the first time in my life, and it was amazing. i got the varsity coach's award.
Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket
Photobucket 
i turned 18, much to my distress.
PhotobucketPhotobucket Photobucket 
i got my wisdom teeth removed on the right side of my mouth.
Photobucket Photobucket 
fell more in love with kira, she's definitely the best dog ever.
Photobucket
i got accepted into sva! (woho, i'm going to college.)
Photobucket 
i broke five mirrors for an NYU portfolio. i spent winter break partying with various families and taking photos like a mad-woman.
Photobucket 
i've come to love myself for who i am and how i look.
Photobucket
tyler, my mom, and my sister on christmas morning. sometimes, things never change.
Photobucket
kira brofisting my sister.
Photobucket
taboo with my cousins on christmas.
Photobucket
I OWN A PILLOWPET NOW! <3
Photobucket
i am culturing myself in LOTR.
Photobucket

i know this is cheesy, but this is honestly my last full year at home and as a child. i don't know what to feel. one side of me is incredibly excited to start my own life....and the other is reluctant. i will never wake up again in the beginning of september at 6:45 and go downstairs and see my mother and father making breakfast and kira running around in circles. i will never again take that big yellow bus or see my big green locker after a tiring summer. a part of me doesn't want to grow up, and the other part welcomes 2012 and all the adventures it will bring. 

so happy new year everyone! i wish for happiness, adventure, and year of love.