July 14, 2010

day 365

today is the end of my 365. one whole year.


i feel compelled to explain myself.

on july 8th, i decided start my 365. little did i know, sophomore year is was going to be one of the toughest years of high school and that i would get all the infamously hard teachers. i started it anyway. today is july 14th, and i finish my 365. you're wondering: wait, the 14th? during field hockey preseason, i was too tired from all that physically demanding exercise, that i didn't take any photos. but when early september rolled around i picked up my camera and continued.

as many of you that follow me know, i only uploaded on time around 30% of the time. as you know, all honors classes = a lot of work. i'd update on weekends.

some people give up on their 365, claiming that their lives were busy. my life was hella busy and i f'ing finished it. i feel incredibly proud of myself for not giving up. but i knew i wasn't going to give up, i'm a stubbornly persistent person.

first, i want to thank every single person that has supported my work this year - it means the world to me. even though numbers don't matter, ever single person that appreciates something makes me feel happy inside <333

now here is where i talk about how this changed my life. well, in all truthness from year to year we all change - become new people. but having a 365 let's you actually see and feel how you changed. it let's you remember.

half of my 365 were snapshots (not good photos), but they remind me of the day that they were taken.i feel like if i didn't have all that crap schoolwork, my 365 would have been tremendously better and i would definitely have improved more. do i wish i did this freshman year? yes i do. but then again, that would change a lot of things.

but life you know, does what it wants. i'm not sad it's ending, because i'm not going to stop. i'm just glad that the stress is over and i have time to myself. sure, it doesn't take much out of my day to take a 365 - but it's all that's on your mind. + i've got a ton of new projects i want to start + i plan to do the 52 weeks project as well.

this year has been a huge year for me.

- it was my first actual year with photography (i started around jan 09...but didn't know what i was doing till i started my 365)

- i decided that i'm going to pursue photography in life. because we live once and only once. so i mine as well live it the way i want. and i'm not going to go to some random college and then regret for not taking art.

so what if i'm unemployed? i'm ready for some adventure, some fun, working and living by the little that i earn. maybe finding my big break. my life is too normal, i want to live an adventure.

- i became close with many of my friends, and i'm grateful to have them in my life.

- i also met a lot of friends via twitter/flickr/tumblr/& deviantart. this is why i love the internet, i would've never known these wonderful people without it.

- i've also got into flickr, and i plan to use mine all the time now :D

- i do feel like i'm a year older. i've made more mistakes, learned from them, and opened my eyes a bit wider to the world around me.

this ties into my last 365. it's not a picture of me during golden hour throwing my arms into the sky. and it's not  epic. i was inspired when i saw something on my tumblr dashboard that said "i wish i could turn back time and fix my mistakes" with a good amount of notes.

i don't wish this, because without mistakes - how would we learn and become better? everyone makes them, it's a part of life. your experiences become part of you and personality. it's not something time can wish away.

every little strand (beautiful or ugly) become a part of me. happy and sad moments that make me the person i am. i left the other braid empty because 1) takes forever to do and 2) i want to to show that places i have yet to go, the people i have yet to meet, and the things i have yet to experience.

( i wanted to sort my rant away from my usual photo/out takes post, so find it all here)

thank you all for everything!